Journal Entry 35 - Destiney

The last many days… I’ve been bounced between so many varying shades of emotion. Pain, emptiness, sadness, anger… Fear. Love. Hope.

Our last mission was going well enough. Though the cards predicted it would be a rough night. A night we could pull through together. We did. But… There were some very rocky bumps in the road this night. The worst part was whatever that device was that threw us all into memories. Memories meant to cut an bleed us dry. 

It felt like being back in that very moment. The memory was literally that vivid. I could actually feel the pain all over again. I was forced to replay that moment once more. As if the nightmares had never been enough. To relive the moment before I nearly died. To be brought back to that brink… To see those sneering Imperial faces hovering over me once more… Even as Konner set us free I found myself stuck hovering at the edges of that pain. 

Dusk’s voice was the first thing I heard. I heard her calling out to me. Bringing me back from that trauma of the past. I forced myself to stand once more. To put one foot in front of the other again. However I was hesitant enough in moving that I believe I worried Quarcy. His concerned hand on my shoulder was enough to finish dispelling the hold that memory gripped me in. I was able to keep going forward with the mission. Though I took the time to slip on my half-mask, relishing in the comfortable feeling of it upon my face. Hiding behind that mask. 

I returned to the house after the mission with the intent to help at the ward with any injuries. However I found myself a patient instead. I should not have worn the jacket into the heat of Thanalan despite the extra protection it offered. Rhisi forced me to lie down an rest before I fell over from the heat exhaustion that was winning out. I only remained long enough to regain some of my strength. My mind was too restless with what happened. I returned to my own room instead.

I spent the next few days at my house, turning away even my cousin. I wanted to be alone. I didn’t want company. Though after a day I found myself back at the Order’s house. Dusk was sitting near the fireplace with tea. Tea sounded really good right then. She offered some to me as well as her ear to listen to what troubled my heart.

I explained it all to her. The events of that day outside of Castrum Occidens. My desire to kill and be killed. Only for my life to be spared in the end. Saved by my Uncle and his companions. Leon… I admitted to how broken I was afterwards. Not understanding why I was still alive back then. Her words though helped to soothe some of the pain that plagued my heart the last few days. Dusk and I might not always see eye to eye… But right then I was grateful for her warm presence.

Life returned to relatively normal for about a day. Apparently though at dinner I found I had missed something important. There was so much tension. Rhisi pulled Nate and myself aside. We were told about an incident in the Order’s past before either of us had joined. An incident involving Oni and the siblings. An Castrum Occidens…

I was warned about Leera being invited into the house. Damn it… I couldn’t sit there an argue with Rhisi though. I left things at that. Choosing to say very little.
I found Nate in the garden the next day. I had intended to head to Wineport. Alone if needed. This was my problem. I couldn’t take the chance that the Order could end up in another situation like that again. If I was forced into Occidens right now… I would be useless… Unable to function… A liability.

Nate however offered to help me. I wanted to refuse. Didn’t want him to watch. Didn’t want to show him just how truly broken I am… Yet… I allowed him to come with me. To be my anchor. To force me home again if I found myself unable to keep going. Because I trust Nate.

I forced myself to go as close to that Castrum as I could. Tried so hard to push further. Yet my legs gave out on me. My body turned traitor to the memories of that day. All I could do was sit there on the ground an tremble like a leaf. Damn it all… Nate’s presence and voice were all I could grasp. I wanted to do better. Yet I had failed… I allowed Nate to sweep me back off to the house.

I will try again. As many times as needed. Until I can overcome whatever part of me I broke that day. I will become stronger. I will not be a liability. Nate offered to continue helping me with this problem. Sweet gentle Nate… 

I have not gone back again yet. I have gotten too caught up in the preparations for Starlight. I did though manage to run into Leera in Gridania while running errands for my mother. 

Leera looked bad. Well physically he did. I asked him about the attack on Lance. He insisted he couldn’t remember. He seemed honest enough in his answer. He also seemed to be far more emotional then usual. I tried to convince him ‘Father’ is just using him. It didn’t work. I tried to change tactics. Tried to sympathize. I do want to help him. Be his friend. Yet for all his praise towards that man… I still feel he would be better off without that man in his life. Forcing him to nearly freeze to death… Driving Leera to the brink of madness if my cousin’s words were to be trusted. I’m not sure I made any progress. Though I feel I understand a bit more. As well as a bit of the way Leera thinks. I did get him to allow me to heal the physical damage though before I left. I think I may have caught him just a bit off guard with calling him my friend though. Yet his words of warning me not to get in trouble for his sake were touching.

Anyways… I better get finished with those Starlight decorations.

A Moment in Time - Destiney and Leonceault

Leon had picked a comfortable spot to sit in the sun warmed grasses. His harp in one hand as he patted the ground beside him with the other. Motioning for her to join him. A warm smile lighting that beautifully tanned face of his. Making the faint gold of that tattoo stand out.

Destiney took a seat beside him. Enjoying the feeling of the sun warming her face as she leaned into him. Her blue eyes watching that harp in his hand. His intentions to teach her to learn to play. Another distraction for her troubled soul. Insisting music could soothe the heart.

His music did soothe her. His very presence beside her soothed her. He had been her rock from the very day she had awoken broken. Helping her to put the pieces of herself back together. Every day she found herself falling further towards him. Enjoying the hope she found in him.

His fingers plucked gently at first. Chords drifting over the warm afternoon air around them. Fingers pausing to accent certain notes over others. The music light and filled with heart. His heart. The way his motions could bring such comforting music from that small handheld harp. She wanted to do nothing more then close her eyes an relax.

Her eyes had only been closed a moment before she heard his melodic laughter softly ring out over the music. His hands paused before setting the harp down to the side gently. Destiney let out a surprised squeak as he pulled her into his lap. Once she was comfortably situated he picked up the harp once more, wrapping his arms around her so the harp was before her. He waited till she took a hold of the harp before his hands found their way to hers. His fingers resting over hers. Showing her the way to bring the same music from the harp as he had. Her attempts no where as beautiful as his.

However the warmth and joy was still the same. She found herself smiling despite everything else. Even as Moon Dove and Ricard watched from a distance. Letting the two of them enjoy this brief moment alone. Happy.

Betrayal - Lancefer and Alexois

Lancefer an the team of men he had been sent with were on the look out for a group of known heretics. They had reportedly fled this way a few bells ago. There was no way he was going to let these people remain hiding in Haillenarte controlled territory. It would be a further stain to the name if he remained idle or allowed these men to escape.

Caution was necessary as they crept closer towards the cave mouth. The near silent drawing of swords. He looked to each of the men on his team. A slight nod to them as he pushed forward into the darkness that waited to swallow them whole.

He couldn’t have gone more then a few feet when light lit the tunnel as if dawn had flared up around them. Lance’s arm raised to shield his eyes from the sudden amount of bright light. Yet there was a cry of alarm and pain from behind. Had they been surrounded?!

Lance couldn’t see before him because of the blinding light. Taking the chance, he whirled about to find one of his team in a pool of his own blood. A wicked grin on the face of another knight, sword dripping with the blood of his fallen comrade.

“Alexois?! What have you done?!” Lance cried out as he looked at the smug half crazed smile on the tanned duskwight’s face. Lance didn’t have a chance to find out as he heard footsteps approaching from the direction of the light.

“Stomping on some roses of course.” Alexois responded as he poked the fallen knight with the tip of his sword. “Getting revenge on you damn High House bastards who make our lives hell. Took me long enough to find a way in.”

Lance looked between the approaching men and Alexois. He an the remaining two of his team were betrayed by one they thought of their own. It had all been cleverly played. They could still retreat. Getting past Alexois alone behind them wouldn’t be that hard. The heretics had the advantage now having caught them off guard. The call would chafe. To retreat an let this betrayal go unpunished…

“This isn’t over, Alex. I will kill you for this.” Lance growled before charging towards the man they once trusted. “Retreat! That is an order!” His sword clashed against Alex’s blade. He would buy time for the rest of his team to get out alive. He watched them run past back into the snows of Coerthas. The footsteps from the cave were coming quicker now. Lance brought his shield up towards Alex’s face to stun the other man. A moment of time bought.

Lance bolted from that cave. Anger clawing at his heart. They had been betrayed by Alex. He had once liked the man. Trusted the man. Only to have it turned against them. Halone have mercy on the man if they ever met again. Lance would make sure the man breathed his last.

An OSR Starlight

Destiney looked around her room before placing the several new items down on the table. Her eyes were watery as she looked down at the gifts. Every word she had said she had meant them. Every last one. Fingers trailed over the gifts she hadn’t chosen to wear yet. Finally reaching up to remove the ones she had decided to wear.

Gifts from those she had chosen to call family. Precious lovely family. Tears ran down her cheeks as she ran her fingers over the purple violas with the bit of old white ribbon woven in among the purple and silver hairpiece.

Nate didn’t have to do it. That ribbon had only been a reminder of the girl she had used to be. It hadn’t graced her hair since the first time she had cut it. Right after Leon’s passing. But now… Now it was something new again. A fresh start for that old ribbon. Just like how the Order had been her fresh start. Her hand left that hairpiece to touch the green stone she wore on a loose necklace.

Only half the stone it once was. The other half now graced another. She hoped that Rhisi wouldn’t mind. It had been a part of the ritual Rhisi had preformed for her when she was still relatively new among the Order. A gift meant to bring her good luck and comfort. She had chosen to share a bit of that precious stone with Nate. Half that stone was now his in a similar necklace. He had been her rock. Together they were more then alone. Two broken souls who were so much stronger together. She couldn’t think of anyone who deserved to share that stone with her more then Nate did.

Her hand covered her mouth to try an hold off the urge to cry. Not unhappy tears though. There was so much love to be found here among her family. Slowly she lowered that hand to trail over the beautiful hairpiece Tara had made for her. So intricate and pretty as it all weaved together an accented with a bit of purple stone. A hand reaching up to touch the ends of her shorter locks. She still felt bad that Tara had meant the gift for her hair before she had cut it again. A soft smile forming on her lips. It just meant she would have to let her hair grow again. Just as she continued to grow as a person.

Next her hand touched the lovely earrings Rhisi had given her. Rhisi… Like a second mother. Always so kind and warm. Always talking sense into her when she needed it most. Providing succor for the healer with the broken soul. Giving her a place she could truly love and be proud to call home. Guiding her back from the darkest parts of her own heart. With a smile and kind words.

Kagato. Silly Pirate. A warm smile on her lips. He was still so distant yet she felt she had at least gotten a bit behind that goofy front at least once back after that injury with the shrapnel. Top shelf wine, a bag of cookies, and a silver necklace with a small bit of garnet. He had been far too kind with words and gifts this night. Yet… She was glad to see as much as he kept people at arm’s length… He did care.

Aras. Sweet Aras had even given her a gift. It was unexpected. She wished she had had more to offer the girl besides the cookies she had attempted to make. They seemed to have turned out well enough despite her limited cooking skills. At least the girl would have something to eat while hiding in the archives. Even if they were cookies. Food was still food for a bookworm who sometimes forgot to eat.

This was her family. Even those who only gave the gift of their warmth an acceptance. This was home. Now she did cry. She was so fortunate to be among them. To be accepted. Broken parts and all.

Aiden's Rest - Lancefer and Tara

Lancefer Aurifore: “Mind if I join you, Tara?”

Tara Griffinsong: “…” Tara says nothing at first, staring out at Dravania in the far distance. “…If you wish.”

Lancefer Aurifore frowns and looks at her a moment before finally climbing up to sit beside her on the wall. “I am guessing something very bad happened last eve. Neither you nor Destiney seem to be yourselves this eve.”

Tara Griffinsong wipes red rimmed eyes, “…You could say that, yeah. It….it was damaging to all of us, in our own way.”

Lancefer Aurifore ‘hmms’ softly as he looks out at the snowy skies. “I was afraid of such when my cousin pretty much told me to get the hells out of her house an find you instead. What happened last night? If it is okay for me to ask.”

Tara Griffinsong glances over at him, her eyes flitting away before she could meet his eyes, “We…It started out fine, a normal mission…for us anyway. We eventually got into a situation where a machine? Spell? Where -something- showed us….memories. For most of us, I think, they weren’t happy either.”

Lancefer Aurifore looks over at Tara as she explains. “I see…Must have been pretty bad if both you and my cousin are out of sorts this eve. Do you wish to talk about it? You did listen to me the other night. I would be willing to offer the same if you so wish.”

Tara Griffinsong points at the mountains in the distance. “I was born over those, in the Orn Wildes. Or so near the Wildes it wasn’t really the Hinterlands anymore and it wasn’t the Wildes yet. There’s a ranch there, called Little Hope.” She laughs, a little broken, “Little Hope isn’t so little really.”

Lancefer Aurifore: “I don’t think it matters if it is little or not. To someone at some time it was that small shred of hope they needed most likely. It is Hope that gives some people the drive needed to push forward when things are bleak.”

Tara Griffinsong: “We’re…family. Refugees from basically everywhere the Empire’s looked who’ve made it across Abalathia’s Spine is welcome in our home and I’m actually related to most of them. We….also have taken in…people the See is not fond of.” She chooses her words carefully. “I was born the second of three children, with my twin the only one younger than me.”

Lancefer Aurifore frowned at her comment on the See, looking around to make sure no others knights had been nearby. “So many people found hope in what your family offered. So the place is actually well named despite not being so little. Please continue.”

Tara Griffinsong tugs her cap off as the wind settles, letting her waist length hair unfurl behind her.

Tara Griffinsong: “For years, we were peaceful. We didn’t make trouble with our ‘neighbors’ and even breed war chocobos. Aiden was my older brother, a good eight years older than me, but we were thick as thieves, more so than me and my twin really. He understood me in a way that….no one else has ever really been able to.”

Lancefer Aurifore: “Sounds like he was a good older brother. What happened to him? You said 'was’. I take it he is no longer walking this world. Forgive me for asking if it hurts too much. You may ask me to leave if you wish.”

Tara Griffinsong: “Carteneau. He was eight years older than me, so he was nineteen when the Alliance went to battle. Ishgard wasn’t involved, of course, but Aiden somehow got his way south and joined the Adders. …He didn’t make it home.”

Lancefer Aurifore made a soft 'hmph’ noise. “So then the odds were high that maybe you an Destiney met for a reason. Did she ever mention Carteneau to you?”

Tara Griffinsong nods quietly. “She did.”

Lancefer Aurifore: “Maybe one of the Twelve thought the two of you could use each other. Well use is not really the right word. A shared pain is an easier burden when it is shared. Have you ever told her about your brother?”

Tara Griffinsong shakes her head, “Most days his memory is bearable and she hurts far worse than I.”

Lancefer Aurifore looks at her in silence for a long moment. Thinking of the words he wanted to say. “I think you should. Or at least maybe try. Maybe she is finally healing? Unless it was something about her father she saw last eve. She wouldn’t tell me. Seemed to get lost in her thoughts easier than usual.”

Tara Griffinsong shakes her head, “I…wasn’t really able to focus on what others were reacting or saying. My own memories were….distracting.” She slides off the railing and picks up the sack and a large, cloth wrapped item that looked far too heavy for her to be carrying, though she managed fine. “…Join me? I’m going to do something I should have done while coming south.”

Lancefer Aurifore watches her get up, eyeing the sack. “Of course. I would gladly offer you my sword and shield out here. Not that I do not believe you a capable young woman. It just makes me worry less. If that is alright to you. Or I would even offer to carry that for you if you wished.” Brushes snow off his armor as he climbs down off the wall.

Tara Griffinsong shakes her head, “We’re not going far and it’s my thing to carry.” She smiles wanly.

Lancefer Aurifore: “Then lead on and I shall follow.”

Tara Griffinsong pauses, grumbling a little about public stair safety and hefting the wrapped object higher in her hold.

Tara Griffinsong takes a deep breath at the opening to the cave.

Lancefer Aurifore keeps an eye on her while still making sure to keep an eye out for anything dangerous as well. “So what have you come here to do? If you do not mind me asking.”

Tara Griffinsong bites her lip, “Visiting the Fury’s Gaze.”

Lancefer Aurifore: “That much I could figure by where we are.”

Tara Griffinsong sends him a dry look.

Tara Griffinsong gazes around the cave, staring at the stalagmites and tites, seemingly searching for something.

Tara Griffinsong walks over to one of the bigger ones, feet making little to no sound.

Lancefer Aurifore looks up before closing his eyes and making a motion of respect for Halone.

Lancefer Aurifore walks over and quietly watches Tara.

Lancefer Aurifore eyes the axe she had placed against the pillar. “Did it belong to your brother?”

Tara Griffinsong kneels and drags from her sack a large, flat stone and sets it before the pillar, making four indentations in it with a touch of aether. Next comes candles, one deep purple, one blue, one white and lastly a pitch black one. “Yes, one of the only uncharred things that was found to bring home to us.” She lights the candles with a match and smiles, “Rest well in Halone’s Halls, Aiden. May She greet you with a Warrior’s welcome, for you fell in battle protecting your home and your family.”

Lancefer Aurifore looks back towards the stone bearing Halone’s mark before looking back towards the axe and Tara. “I am sure Halone has embraced him with open arms. She does not forsake those who have served her well.” His words were softly spoken.

Tara Griffinsong quieter, “Be safe big brother…I miss you…”

Tara Griffinsong: “I hope so…I wasn’t…sure if I should do this, since he never fought for Ishgard, but…I felt I had to, you know? I know this is probably unorthodox and frowned upon to leave these here…”

Tara Griffinsong: “I got mad at him, you know, before he left. My last words to him was that he was abandoning us, me. I was mad that I didn’t tell him I loved him.” She sobs.

Lancefer Aurifore steps closer and puts his hands on her shoulders first, not wanting to startle her. Before wrapping his arms around her in a hug from behind. “Halone may be the patron who watches over Ishgard but her children are not just those of us born and bred in Ishgard. I am sure she loves all her children no matter their birth. Even your brother.”

Tara Griffinsong sobs freely now, hands coming up to hug his arms as tears stream down her face.

Lancefer Aurifore just lets her cry as he holds her. “I’m sure he knows you love him too. You’ve probably made him proud so many times. Look at all the good you’ve done. The people you’ve helped. If he watches over you… I am sure he is very proud of his little sister. I would be.”

Tara Griffinsong hiccoughs, “Twelve I hope so. I…I don’t think I’ve earned his pride though.” She sniffles, “How…how do I submit a formal request to Haillenarte to not remove it? Or at least move it somewhere more appropriate and not throw it off the cliff?”

Lancefer Aurifore takes a deep breath an looks up. “I can try calling in some favors. Maybe talk to Lord Francel. He would probably be the best one to convince. He is a very kind young man who I am proud to serve under.”

Tara Griffinsong shakes her head, “I’ll do it Lancefer. I don’t want you spending your favors on me.”

Lancefer Aurifore chuckles softly. “No. It is alright. They would be well spent if they offered you some measure of peace. I wish I could do the same for my cousin.”

Tara Griffinsong tilts her head up to glare at him, poking his arm gently. “It’s fine. I’ll ask the Lord myself. I’m not that socially awkward.”

Lancefer Aurifore let’s go of her to raise his hands in the air, a slight grin on his face. “Alright. I did offer at least. But yes I would suggest talking with Lord Francel. He is a kind hearted young man. If any of the Haillenarte children might hear you out, it would be him.”

Tara Griffinsong drags gentle fingers down the head of the axe, pressing a kiss to her fingers and then her fingers to the axe. “Rest well Aiden. Feast and Make Merry at Halone’s side.”

Lancefer Aurifore: “May Halone watch over his soul.”

Warning Signs - Lancefer

Sky blue eyes stared up towards the grey clouds. More snow soon to come they promised. Something that was not an usual occurrence for Ishgard. He had trouble remembering anymore what his city used to look like without the cold and snow. Hard to believe it had been so long already.

He knew he should have returned home last eve. Was probably going to hear about it from his mother at the very least. Hopefully his father was too busy with work for Dzemael to even be home at this hour. He could slip in an find his spare armor. The chainmail he had worn yesterday needed repairs. There was no way he could wear it to duty without questions being raised. He had no answers to give. None that made sense. There was no way he could explain it without seeming as if he was crazy. Though he had seen a good many crazy things since he had started following his cousin around.

Yesterday… The man with the snow white hair and teeth like razors. The one Tenrai had called a foul water sprite. His left hand came to rest over his right shoulder. There was no real pain. Tara had taken good care of the injury he had sustained. Yet… The memories of that brief fight still disturbed him. There was still no name to put with the stranger’s face yet he had claimed to know Destiney. Which disturbed him even more…

Chaotic. His cousin had some very chaotic choices of people to claim knowing. That was the best way he could think of it. Like turbulent waters of the sea. He hadn’t had a chance to see her an ask about the strange man he had found outside of Dragonhead.

It had started as mere curiosity and concern. The man had been sitting in the snow against the outer wall. Wanting to make sure the fool hadn’t frozen to death mere feet from the camp itself. There was a sort of madness about the stranger wearing the half-mask. Talking about dragon blood. Saying how it had no effect on him an wanting to test it on Lance. An then… The odd way the man fought like a demon. Trying to pierce Lance with those… Things! Like the tentacles of a octopus but far more dangerous. Their shape was not solid. More like half frozen water able to shift shape. The edges tipped crimson with blood. There was no way Lance wanted to find out if it was truly dragon blood in those dangerous tendrils.

Lance hadn’t wanted to fight. Not at first. However there was no way he was going to allow someone so dangerous to walk freely. Not in that state of madness. However he had no idea where his cousin was to call her to deal with the masked man. It had been like fighting a Hydra. Cut off one an two regrew. Until he was facing at least seven tendrils. In the end it wasn’t one of those tipped in the color of blood that caught him. He had opened up a gaping wound in the man’s chest but even that did not seem to faze the man. From there something shot out like those tendrils, caught him in the right shoulder. His chainmail hadn’t seemed to be much of an obstacle for it either. That creeping cold. Like something crawling under his skin. Then it was nearly over as quickly as it had begun. The man withdrew and fled away. Leaving him there stunned and wounded. Leaving him to wonder what sort of creature that man was.

His thoughts finally drifted back to the present as he approached the door to the house. A deep breath before his hands reached up to give it a push open. Cautiously without seeming like a thief sneaking about his own home, Lance made his way towards his room.

“Lancefer?”

He paused an mentally cursed his luck. His mother’s voice. So much for getting in an out without notice. Elviane always seemed to be keeping an eye or ear out for his coming and goings. Especially when it came to trying to set him up with a potential wife.

“Yes mother. I had to stop by an fetch something from my room. I have another shift of duty shortly.” He knew she wasn’t going to come out of the other room to see him though. She rarely did anymore. Not unless she had something specific she needed him for. Nor did he feel truly bad for lying about having duty soon. He mere wanted to avoid the possible conversation about his love life. Or rather lack of one.

“Your father and grandfather wished to see you in the study. Do not keep them waiting. You know how they hate being made to wait.”

Halone have mercy… Both of them? He grimaced an looked down the hall towards the closed doors to the study. It would have been easier to turn around an run. But he didn’t run. With a deep breath he pushed forward towards those doors. Looming ahead of him like the gates to hell. Dealing with them one at a time was bad enough. Dealing with both at once… Maybe he should have let that man kill him yesterday.

Inside the room Grandfather was his usual place. Behind the sturdy manor desk, polished to a shine. Papers spread across it’s surface. A tray of tea that was no longer steaming. Obviously they had been waiting for him for some time. His father frowned from where he stood near the windows looking out into Ishgard.

“You’re late.”

The urge to cringe was there as his father spoke. Vairemont was never a patient man. Yet Lance kept his face passive. He had been dancing to this game long enough. A respectable bow to both of his elders. He didn’t dare look up at either of them. Gaze kept down to the floor. They would not tolerate being lied to. Yet they didn’t truly know the lies he told them on a regular basis. There was no reason to give them a chance to suspect him now though. Tread careful. Dealing with both at once was like walking on cracked glass. One wrong step would have disastrous consequences.

“I apologize. I got caught up in business last eve an chose to rest before returning. It was already far late for travel back to Ishgard.”

He heard his father’s steps more then saw them. Felt his father’s displeasure. The man always seemed to radiate that feeling around him anymore. Ever since his fateful choice of Haillenarte over Dzamael. He was no longer the favored son. Had not been for many years.

“Resting at the beach I heard.”

Surprised eyes found his father’s stern gaze. Had they realized? Was his ruse up? Did they know every bit of information he fed them since finding out who the lady they had him following was, was false? Surely he had not slipped up that much to give himself away so soon. He was no shadow yet surely they couldn’t have found out. Unless… They had begun to suspect an had him followed… Or he was truly unlucky that someone his father knew was there at Costa…

“Her free company goes to the beach at the end of the week, every week. As I said. Business. Unless you no longer wish for me to keep trying to find information for you.” He tried hard to keep the venom from his voice. He hated what they demanded of him. The orders chaffed an cut at him. Defying them was hard. They were his family. Yet… They also made it so easy to do. His time among the men and women of Haillenarte had given him a better understanding of how family should be. Even his time learning of his cousin an her crazy free company that she considered family… Even they were more family then the one he had.

Fast. His father’s hand struck out at him. Hand on his injured right shoulder. Fingers digging into that wound. On purpose. The intent was clear on his father’s face. Lance couldn’t keep his face passive any longer. His teeth were gritted against the pain as those fingers pressed hard against that injury. Tara’s hard work… It pissed him off. Finally the pain subsided as his father shoved him back into the nearby bookshelf. A few of the books tumbled to the floor at the jolt of a body hitting the shelves.

“You will not take the tone with me, boy.” His father’s voice a snarl.

“Enough!” Age wizened eyes looked on at the scene of father and son before finally settling on Lancefer. Their disappointment was clear. “You have been failing to provide us with anything useful lately. If this keeps up… Well. I don’t have to remind you now do? Consider this a warning, Lancefer. You will not get another. You know what was asked of you.”

“Yes, Grandfather.” Lance bowed his head. A warning. They were indeed beginning to suspect. His lies had not been clearly as clever as he had thought they had been. Maybe he had been wise in warning Nate last evening. If they suspected it would not be long before they took this matter out of his hands. If they did that he would no longer be able to control the flow of information. He would need the help of men like Raiden and Nate. The purple-eyed aevis and the wolf of Dzamael. But would it be enough?

“You are dismissed.”

Lance did not wait around. Nor did he hurry in his departure. He would not give them the satisfaction of thinking they had him running scared. Once in the safety of his room, he slid down the closed door to sit on the floor. Slowly he removed his jacket and shirt. Trying to be careful of the bandages on his shoulder. They were stained with fresh blood where his father had dug his fingers into the wound. A quiet curse under his breath as he leaned his head back against the door behind him. He would have to think of something. Surely he could do this.

“Halone… Please help me…”

Heartbreak

(Fair warning if you have not seen past the Vault in the MSQ do NOT read. This is a major spoiler. You have been warned. I apologize for the quality. I keep feeling like it’s lacking somehow. Please note that this is written as if Destiney was the WoL as well as from her point of view. Which of course she isn’t the WoL. I’ve been bouncing this story bit around for some time. @skysteelsun & @haurchefantgreystone gave me some inspiration for this (an their permission!). So the Haurchefant and Steph found in here are based on theirs. So you have been warned that not everything here is canon to the game.)

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I chose to lean against the door frame and watch from the distance. A warm smile on my face as I watched those two love birds. I could still remember the first days I met each one of them. They did their best to behave in public but it was still clearly obvious by the looks an subtle touches.

Haurchefant. The stalwart knight an defender of the weak. A man with such a pure heart and such strong passion. A smile suited that face of his. To see him happy. I still remembered our first meeting at Camp Dragonhead. The whirlwind of my life catching him in the currents. Dragging him into my fight. Not that he wouldn’t have volunteered. No he definitely would have volunteered to help. He was too kind to refuse even if I had not wanted to involve him.

Stephanivien. Sweet sunshine. A smile worth every thing. The man in charge of the Skysteel. Who tried to teach me to wield a gun rather then a bow. That day he handed over that carbine to me in Camp Overlook. Yet in the end I stuck with my bow. A man so accepting of people. So willing to teach and accept. It was hard not to be drawn to someone so pure.

They deserved each other. They deserved to be happy in this war torn world. Yet… There was still work to be done. Daylight was growing short. “Haurchefant! We should get going.” I called out to him finally after feeling I had given them enough time together. Watched the goodbye between them before Haurchefant finally turned to join me with a smile still on his face.

*~*

Hard to believe that happy moment was only days ago as we stood before the Vault. I gave one last glance towards Lucia and Haurchefant. I gave them a silent nod as I took off inside. We had to rescue Lord Aymeric. Several knights of Fortemps had been spared to join me in any fighting.

My job was to deal was to distract the Heavens’ Ward and seek out the Archbishop. I raced down those halls. Stopping to deal with combat of Temple Knights along the way. Facing off against three of the Heavens’ Ward in combat. Not all at once of course. Ser Charibert was the final one to stand in my way as I neared the top of the Vault. It was then that Ser Zephirin called the retreat, an airship crossing the sky overhead.

I couldn’t let them reach that airship. Even if at this point I was forced to continue on alone. The other knights who had accompanied me had fallen before my fight with Ser Charibert. Parts of my coat were still singed from the fight. For the most part though I had escaped with only minor injuries. My feet carried me up that remaining distance an through those doors. There in the distance was the Archbishop and the airship that had passed overhead.

I looked back over my shoulder at the sound of running footsteps. My heart leaped at the sight of Haurchefant and Lucia. With them Lord Aymeric, who looked a little worse for wear. I would not have to stand against the Heavens’ Ward alone. I hung back opposite of Haurchefant as Aymeric tried to appeal to his father. A silent look passing between us as the Archbishop denied Aymeric’s reasoning. Chose to continue in this folly.

I raced forward with Haurchefant close on my heels. He knew of the attack before I did, calling out a warning. Ser Zephirin had thrown a spear of what I could only assume was aether towards us. Haurchefant had stepped into the path of the projectile that had been meant for me. His shield met the blow. I thought we would be fine as he held strong under the attack.

Until the sounds of the first crack of metal. My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach. My eyes widened in shock as the shield finally gave before that weapon did. The scream stuck in my throat as I watched in horror. Feeling like the world was in slow motion as I watched Haurchefant fall to the ground. I dropped to my knees as Aymeric held up his head. I knew the blood on his lips was a bad sign. An not a healer among us.

“You…you are unharmed? F-Forgive me… I could not bear the thought of… of…”

I wanted to die as he spoke like this. The blow had been meant for me. Yet the lovable fool had sacrificed himself for me. My hands wrapped around his as he reached for me. I wanted to scream an cry at him at the same time. Why?!

“Oh, do not look at me so.”

That smile on his face. He was dying yet he could still spare a smile for me. Damned fool. Halone take him. Tears threatened to overwhelm me. My friend was dying. The one person who had stood by us when all else had forsaken us. Brought us into Ishgard and got his father to take us in.

“A smile better suits a hero… Tell Stephanivien I’m sorry…”

I forced a smile to my face. One last smile as he lay there dying. Just for him. “Haurchefant!” His name finally cried out from my lips as his eyes shut for the last time. Now came the tears finally. I was the warrior of light… Yet I couldn’t even save him. He had given his life for mine instead. Sobs wracked my body as I mourned the loss of his light in this world.

*~*

My feet gave pause at the doors to the Manufactory. Grief still clawed at my heart like a rabid beast. Yet… I needed to be the one to tell Stephanivien. Haurchefant had given his life for mine. This was my responsibility. He shouldn’t have to hear it second hand from someone else. Besides they had both been such dear friends to us. To me.

“Stephan…” I walked through the doors, sighting him near his workbench. He looked up at the sound of my name. The pain coloring my voice. “Haurchefant… He…” I couldn’t make myself say the words. I couldn’t make it so final. To watch Stephanivien’s heart break. The grief threatened to overwhelmed me again. I felt warm arms wrap around me in silent comfort as the tears finally won out.

I was barely aware of the warm wet tears that dropped on my head as Stepanivien hugged me. Sharing in the pain we both felt at the loss of someone so dear. It was all my fault… I knew his heart was breaking because of me. I know he had lost the man so dear to him because of me. That damn lovable fool. Halone watch over his soul… Halone watch over us all…

Journal Entry 34 - Destiney

I seem to be neglecting to write in here as often as I used to. I guess life has been a bit busier then normal. Especially now with my cousin in the picture.

Lance and I have been spending time when we both can getting to know each other. It has been mostly casual. He hasn’t tried to pry for anything more then I am willing to speak with him on. Then again part of me is still waiting for him to stab me in the back. I don’t think he will though… I guess it is still part of me not ready to accept that someone from that side of the family actually cares.

He did mention the other night he had come looking for me to tend to some injuries he had gotten while on duty. I guess he got injured fending off an attack in a joint effort with some of the Fortemps troops from Dragonhead. Some aevis scored a lucky hit on him. Apparently Tara took care of it for him though. 

He also mentioned some sparring match that happened while he was visiting. Something about Aras and Dusk. He didn’t have all the details as he and Tara had arrived towards the end of the match. Though he made mention of interest in challenging her himself sometime. As well as that he met Nate after. Who didn’t seem to be having a good day. 

Speaking on Nate. I’m glad he has so much patience for me some days. I feel I have been rather snappish with him lately. I guess I am just still upset from last week’s mission. I don’t really mean to take it out on him. I mean we have moments where I feel like we might clash an I get so scared of what might happen if we do. I guess I should have a bit more faith. Faith that the bond between us is stronger then a few ill words. 

I mean he did get a chance to see me use a bow for a change in the Twelveswood last week. Tara had gotten lost. Or rather something had spooked her chocobo. It was nice… Fighting side by side like that. Instead of just watching his back. We did manage to find Tara safe and sound though she had been chased by a few tempered Sylphs. Nate and I had gone to check an make sure they had all returned to their territory after they gave up the chase. Of course we found some stragglers. That was how Nate and I got to fight side by side. I was unlucky that day apparently though. One of the sylphs managed to catch me off guard an I was zapped pretty good. No real physical injury though besides feeling rather numb and tingly. Nate got us back to the house before actually carrying me inside on his back. I was a bit… embarrassed honestly. Mostly because there were others in the house at the time. But at the same time I was afraid I might trip an fall on my face with the way certain parts of my body felt numb. I knew it would wear off in time though. So it wasn’t like I hadn’t agreed to let him carry me.

Dusk pulled me aside once I was feeling a bit less numb. We stepped aside into my room to talk privately. Apparently she felt the need to caution me about Leera and Rose. She doesn’t want Leera anywhere near Rose. Our youngest an newest member. I understand she is young an still learning. However I was a bit offended that she felt the need to try an caution me yet again. I know Leera -can- be dangerous. I’ve always held a measure of caution when dealing with Leera ever since learning the truth about who an what he is. There is always a certain amount of caution needed when dealing with a predator. I want to believe Leera can be good, can do something more then be a tool for his creators. Even Oni when we had a discussion earlier in the day had believed there might be a chance for Leera to be a better person. He just needs to be taken away from the bad influences an given a chance. So I told Dusk my own opinions an what Oni had said. It was admitting Leera does need to change. Yet I still feel Leera does care about me in a way. 

I had told Oni about the potion Leera had given to me. About how Felix thought it had been something to be used against him. That was how our discussion went from Oni’s new tools into talk of his sibling. I haven’t seen Leera for a bit of time now. He had told me I wouldn’t.  But in our talk Oni did agree Leera wasn’t always the way he is now. That maybe if he was taken away from ‘father’ that there could be a chance for real change. I mean it is worth a shot if I can find a way. Why else would Leera care enough to keep speaking to me or even give me a potion for my own safety? I am certainly not -that- entertaining for him to be toying with me.
Oh! On a rather positive note. I survived my first cooking lesson with J’siris. I had offered him use of my new kitchen an he proceeded to teach me a stew. It actually turned out really well even with me helping make it. I didn’t even cut any fingers this time! I even took some to Lance before I joined the Order at the house for the evening.

Anyways I better finish my work before the mission this evening. It is nearly time.