My Soul to the Devil

(Violence, mentions of abuse, torture, and just general Alex things ahead in this writing. Reader be warned.)



Alex prowled about the dark caves this group had decided to make their hideout. This was where the name had brought him. Connections to the person who had bought Virae. To the man who had abused the sweet raen woman.

Abuse that had been too similar to his own when he was young. A man who would hit where the bruises or cuts wouldn’t show to the world outside. The story she gave him had triggered something inside of him. Brought back the killer he used to be. The anger and the rage against those who would treat people like that. A desire to slowly gut the man.

Sadly Virae’s friend had already beaten him to killing the bastard. So he would have to settle for those that sold her to that man. Money talked. Especially that amount of gil. Paired with the name she had given him… He was determined to make sure any bastard attached to what happened, paid in blood.

It had been months since the last time he had felt that cold killing rage. Felt the darkness that clawed at the edges of his awareness. The sweet whispers of pain that needed to be inflicted. He had thought maybe it had faded or was broken when Jacques had tortured him for two days.

It wasn’t gone. Probably would never be gone. Like he had told them… He knew who he was and who he had been. Who he had been was a monster. A part of him would always be a monster in human skin.

“Everyone has a past and it shapes them… but it’s who we are now and going forward that usually matters the most.”

Sana’s words. Her visit before he had left. Swallowing hard as he moved through the dim lighting. He had promised to return in a few days. Promised both Sanagi and Virae. So he would finish this hunt and return as promised. This wasn’t a promise he was willing to break.

The first few thugs he felled easy enough. A few quick flashes of his blade. Thugs were worthless. He needed the man pulling the strings around this place. Moving forward to the next batch.

Hissing in pain when an arrow found his shoulder in the middle of killing the next bunch. Of course it would be the right shoulder since it lacked the armor the left had. Finishing the kills before taking time to snap the arrow. The shot had been a clean through thankfully. Made it easier since the arrowhead wasn’t trapped inside of his shoulder. Still hurt like no tomorrow. Possibly poisoned. He was suddenly glad Jacques had built their immunity up to the lesser poisons. His shoulder burned but it wasn’t going to be enough to stop him.

The next group was larger and trickier. Yet nothing he couldn’t handle as he slashed his way through them towards the bigger man with the axe. He felt and heard the edge of the blade glance off the scales covering the bad of his armor. Suddenly thankful he’d spent the gil on this piece. Dragon scales were tough. Well worth the gil spent on the black market. He dodged the next blow but this thug wasn’t as easy as the others. More agile even with that big axe. Felt the blade edge cut across his thigh. Not a deep wound but it was still painful. Growling in rage, Alex lunged. Sinking his blade deep into the man’s chest before ripping it back out in a spray of crimson.

One more room. Just one more…

Alex kicked open the door and launched a pair of throwing knives for the man waiting at the end of the room. One cleanly missing. The other managed to land in the man’s upper right arm.

The man growled at Alex and drew his axe. But this one didn’t look nearly as limber as the last axe thug. The man clearly led his crew with his fists judging by his size and muscle tone. Moving forward to begin a fight with the intruder in their den of thieves and slavers.

It was a fight that lasted longer then any of the thugs. The axe biting across his side at one point when he failed to find a home for his dagger in the man’s leg. He was trying not to straight up kill the bastard. This one he wanted to suffer. Eventually he was able to down the man and get him tied to a chair as the frightened women fled the room.

Good. They didn’t need to see what would happen next. Didn’t need to see what he would do to get answers. The screams would be enough for an idea of what Alex was doing.

He grabbed a bottle of booze the bastard had nearby. Not to drink himself. He took out the powder Sana had given him. Dumping at least two doses into the bottle. The man was bigger and he felt better increasing the amount just to be sure. Shoving the bottle into the man’s mouth and making him swallow the mix. Sana said it would have hallucinations as an effect. Would be much useful in make the man talk.

“Yes. Make the bastard suffering. Make him see things.”

Alex shook his head. He knew he hadn’t ingested any of the powder himself. Knew too well the voice in his head now. Glancing out of the side of his eye to see the sneer he knew so well. Lounging against the table was a shade of himself. This wasn’t the first time this had happened either. Though it wasn’t something so common for him. Something that had begun after the long two days of torture at his mentor’s hands. A break from the suffering inflicted upon him. Dredged up by the anger and rage. By the desire to make someone suffer.

A flash of sliver. Followed by a pained scream. Blood bloomed across the man’s chest in the cut Alex had made. Not deep enough to kill. Just enough to cause the right amount of pain. Alex pushed the man’s head back and held his dagger to his throat.

“Yes. Hurt him. Let go. Embrace the person you used to be. Enjoy the feel of blood on your hands. Just like old times. Like before that bitch changed you.”

Alex growled softly before he jammed his blade into the man’s arm. Another cry of pain. No one heard the voice but Alex. All it did was enrage him further. All it did was make him wish he could run this blade through the shade to silence him.

I am not that person anymore!!!

“Yes you are. You always will be. It was like you told them. You are a monster. Be the monster you claim to be.”

Alex ripped the blade into the man’s shoulder. As if causing pain and screams might silence that dark voice inside of him. The pleas of the man as Alex inflicted pain while the drug was working. The babble as the man began spilling things to Alex. Random things. Some of them things Alex needed.

“That’s right. Relish in the screams. In the pain.”

Alex plunged the dagger into the man’s chest. Into his heart. Ripping it out savagely. Blood dripping from his blade as he turned away. Crimson flecks on his face.

Not to head home. Not yet. Alex went to one of Jacques’ old safe houses that was closer then his apartment or Sanagi’s. Wanting the blood off of him before going to see Sana. She might have realized what he intended to do but a part of him didn’t want her to see it still. There was a certain amount of innocence to her still. An innocence he didn’t want to destroy.

Alex let the hot water run over his naked form for a long time as he stood under the shower. Washing away both his own blood and that of those he had killed. He felt so very hollow. Leaning forward and placing his forehead against the wall as the water ran across and down his back.

“Weak! Spineless!”

Grimacing at the words. Now hearing his mentor’s voice. Remembering the pain. The torture. The suffering. Two days of hell that nearly left him dead. Fractured a part of him.

Now in privacy. No eyes upon him. Not Virae. Not Sanagi. Alex sunk to his knees and finally let the tears fall silently. Letting them mix with the water from the shower.

“There is no sadism or joy in your face right now.”

“Sana… I’m so sorry…” He croaked softly to the empty room as he kept his head bowed.