Alex had told Anata he was going to have to start taking jobs again. His funds he had saved would not last forever. He didn’t know what else to do. Killing and stealing was most of what he knew. Had tried his hand at cooking but there was no way he could make a living off it.
So he went back to what he knew best. Killing. Gone off to Ishgard to find a new contract. Ishgard, despite it’s changing, still was easy to find work. Not to mention a part of him wished to do it out of spite. Spite against House Rillek and all the other Ishgardian nobility. Plus when you were already a criminal in that city why risk making yourself one in a different city.
The job he took was simple. Someone wanted a guard dead. Apparently the person had seen or done something they wanted to remain hidden. Simple enough work. Not surprising either.
All of his connections though were skeptical because of the short time he had been apart of House Rillek. Trying to assure them he had merely been doing a job. One he had to end up refusing because it wasn’t worth the coin. A simple lie that slide off his tongue with ease.
He stood outside in the cold. Watching and waiting. A patient hunter. The shift changed for the guard he was waiting for. Fingers gently brushing over the grips of his blades. Hesitating at drawing them as his eyes widened.
The person paying him had failed to mention the guard was a woman…
Do it. Kill her anyways. It’s a job. Do it to spite all those bastards. It’s Ishgard.Those dark whispers had him gripping his blades. Listening as the guards started talking to one another about Starlight. What they were doing this year for it. What their families were doing. It made him hesitate.
Don’t hesitate. Hesitation is a weakness. I don’t need a weak brat. I need a killer. Mercy is for the weak. Caring will just get you killed. Suck it up and do the job, Alexois. Just like I’ve been teaching you to do all these years.Alex gritted his teeth. Could swear Jacques was standing beside him and whispering in his ear. Though the man was dead… It still haunted him. Jacques had indeed taught him. Taught him to survive in a world that hadn’t wanted him. Taught him to kill and do it without giving a shit about the victim. Yet those teachings had never fully clung to Alex. After all… He’d found himself caring for a knight. Something that had lead him to where he was now. To being tortured for two days. Yet he was the one still living. Not Jacques.
It would be so very simple to just give in. To listen to those words. It was a job after all. It would give him the gil to keep going as he currently was. She was Ishgardian. Get it done and over with. Collect his gil.
Still he hadn’t heard a word from Kohina… That alone gave the dark thoughts more power. Made the despair eat away at that resistance. Starlight… Without Kohina. It would just be like all the rest… Alone.
But that wasn’t entirely true either. Remembering that silly little toy. The one that L’ania had sent him. A small little snowman. Quite silly for someone like himself.
With a note that says “Alex, Thank you for being a good friend. I got you a little something, I hope he makes you smile.”Alex hung his head, grip going slack on his blades. A Starlight gift. The first he’d ever gotten. L’ania… He wasn’t truly alone this year. Without Kohina? Yes. But not alone. Not completely.
Listening to the guards talk about their families and their Starlight plans…
He couldn’t do it. Couldn’t kill her. Especially now. He’d be taking her away from her family this close to Starlight. He could buy some time. Put the choice off for a little longer. Let the guard enjoy one final Starlight if he decided to continue with the job. If he decided to go through with it. He always had a harder time accepting a job killing a woman for some reason. Men had always been simple.
Silently he disappeared. A shadow in the night. The guard living to see another day.
He made his way back to his apartment. Unsure where else to go right now. Eyes falling to a linkpearl he hadn’t touched in months. Having wished to give Aeri time to enjoy her new married life. A life he didn’t want to keep botching up with his need for help. Gently picking up that pearl and clearing his throat.
“Hey… No idea if you even still keep listening to this…” He tried hard to keep his voice even. Only partially succeeding. A slight crack to his words. His brow furrowed as he slid down the wall he had been leaning against. Sitting now on the floor. “Miss you, Aeri. I hate to be always calling you for help. Guess… If you have time… I could use someone who understands.” Burying his head against his knees.
The privacy of his apartment one of the few places he didn’t feel the need to be strong. To be untouchable. Right now… He just felt… Lonely. Unsure. Lost.
That abused Brume kid who just wanted to survive another day…
For all his snark. For all the big talk and abrasive attitude… Alex finally just didn’t want to be alone anymore. Just for one Starlight… He didn’t want a silent night.
Standing up he placed that pearl back on the table before wandering over to his bed. Picking up the small toy snowman. Fingers brushing over the details. A somber look to his gaze. To think… One tiny gift… One silly toy snowman… Would make such a difference to him. Yet he’d never ever gotten anything for Starlight before. Not once. Now he had. And it made all the difference.
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