Struggling Forward

(An actually tame post for Alex for once. -shock! gasp!- So it’s pretty safe to read for a change. Just mentions of fighting and such. Just him and myself trying to figure out his path forward from here. )



It had been hard standing off in the background. A part of him itched to fight. Yet he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. Not after all that he had been through. Though maybe it was a good idea. A way to vent the anger and hurt inside.

It had been years after all since he last had a good brawl. Granted you could very well still kill someone fighting with your fists but it was unlikely he would manage it. It was about as safe as fighting got for him. Strength wasn’t his thing, speed was.

He left the fights at the end without fighting himself. The fight between the Xaela and the Miqo’te males had been the most interesting of all the matches. Though he had to admit he liked the way the Raen woman had fought against her own opponent. Maybe he could return again soon and try his hand at things.

Alex sighed and rubbed his forehead. A part of him didn’t want to go back an attempt to sleep. Especially if Toka wasn’t there tonight. He couldn’t expect her to always be his crutch against the things that happened. He needed to find a way past the things Jacques had done to him over the two days he had been a prisoner. He only hoped maybe the fighting would help.

Miu had tried to talk to him. Tried to tell him it wasn’t his fault. The words were too hard to believe though. He had made his choices. Those choices had led to what happened. Everything he had done had been to survive. There was no way he was giving people the satisfaction of him dying easily. Aeri would kick his ass now if he died easy. A right she deserved. Toka and Aeri both definitely deserved that fight for saving his life more then once now. As well as for giving him a reason to keep on fighting.

Alex sat down on the wall in the Goblet as he lit a cigarette. He had to figure out his life from here. Needed to decide what path he wanted to take. Jacques wouldn’t be an issue anymore. Still he was a wanted man in Ishgard so that wasn’t an option. Surely he could do like Aeri and hunt the people that made monsters like the two of them. There was definitely no qualms in killing slavers and abusive people. It would never redeem him or make him a good person. Not that he wanted that. He just wanted to live.

“What the hell. I’ll fight the next time I go.” Alex muttered to himself before taking a puff of his cigarette. “The worse that happens is I get bloodied. Not like I haven’t been bloodied before. Maybe I’ll call the alley cat to take care of me for old times sake.” He chuckles softly as he closes his eyes and sighs.

One way or another he’d figure things out. Somehow. He was good at surviving. Plus he still owed Soren some much needed payback.