I was feeling restless last night. I hurried through the house, unsure who was present at the time. Went to my room to fetch my gear and my bow. I was going to… I do not know… Maybe just take a walk… Maybe get into some trouble… This whole celebrating the calamity… Makes me very damn restless. As well as it keeps the nightmares closer. Maybe I should take Dekkarra up on that offer to take a week away from it all. I know he merely is trying to be helpful.
I left my room at what appears to be… An awkward moment. I was just able to catch Rhisi mentioning myself and Leera to Oni and Aimee. As well as Oni mentioning something about not seeing a duskwight guest on any of the security stuff. However I could not find out anything more. The three of them became hushed about the whole topic. It left me feeling disturbed. Why would they be speaking about Leera and myself? More over why would they talk about me yet not tell me what it was all about… I feel… A bit hurt. There is something they are not telling me. At least that is the way I feel by their behavior.
Nathaniel however had arrived before I could attempt to gain anything from the situation. His appearance only helped to give them reason to clam up even further on the topic. I thanked the twelve that I had been smart enough to have my half-mask on. It was easier to hide my feelings an try to be pleasant with Nate. I did not want to trouble a guest with whatever was going on between us in that room. I did finally take off my mask once I felt more in control of myself again.
Oni had apparently been cooking an made a good deal of food as well. Rhisi had gone outside. So even if I had wanted that ended whatever chance I had to ask her about Leera. I asked permission from Oni if the Nate and I could enjoy some the food they had made. It was around then that Aras had arrived. Another guest. The three of us sat down to eat. Maria and Chloe had eventually joined us. As well as Tara was at the house but she remained mostly silent an solitary. I chose to have pleasant conversation with Nate.
Somewhere along the line Oni and Aimee had left as well. Maria excused herself an did not return… Around the same time I wanted to run. Aras had mentioned Certeneau Flatts… I dropped my spoon an tried to compose myself rather then fleeing at the name of that forsaken place. I think Nate could tell something had upset me though I had tried to play it off with the whole dropping of my spoon.
I tried my best to ignore the conversation between Aras and Chloe. I tried to focus on talking with Nate. He was very kind an considerate. I eventually did tell him I had lost someone on that day. An that this whole celebration leaves me very restless an less then cheerful. He was very understanding an did make an attempt to make me smile again. Eventually it was just the two of us left at the house. An the time escaped us as we talked. Eventually he had to part ways though he said he may stop back again sometime. I hope so. His presence was a comfort. I think the two of us could have a nice friendship.
I think I may avoid the house for a few days. I am unsure how I feel about those three speaking of my building friendship with Leera. Especially when it seems they are hiding something from me an merely trying to cover it with something as simple as claiming wanting to make sure the canons do not fire on a guest… Something is not right here. I intend to eventually find out. One way or another. But… I think I need a day or two to calm down before I do more harm then good about the whole thing. Maybe take that trip with Dekkarra.
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