If I Break (Backstory - Destiney)

(Part 1! in Destiney's backstory. This is set right before the Calamity an through the five years till when ARR begins. The second part will pick up at ARR when its finished.)

Destiney hated it. Hated it all as she rode in the chocobo led wagon away from home in the quiet forests of the Shroud an through the Highlands of Coerthas. She glared up in anger at the falling moon. Dalamund people had called it.

Her brother was still missing yet her parents were sending her away. Her hands clenched in her lap where they rested. They had said they wanted her to go remain with her Aunt and Uncle in Ishgard until things calmed back down. A nation plagued by dragons and heretics… She felt like they were sending her away from one danger into another different danger. Either way she was unsafe. Either way it was not helping to find her missing sibling. But for her parents Ishgard was a nation outside of the war against the Garleans.

If it had not been the look in her mother’s eyes… It was only that look that had silenced her an kept her from running out on her own with just her bow in hand. The pain in those eyes. Not knowing where one of your own children was while danger pressed ever closer. Seeing that staff in her mother’s gentle hands… She did not have the heart to continue her argument with her father about remaining. Or even make the suggestion that she was old enough to fight if she was old enough to start training for the Gods’ Quiver. She was nearly sixteen now.

She was so angry an hurting. How could Tak just leave her behind without a word? How could her parents just send her away? She scrubbed the back of her one hand across her face, unsure of when she had started to silently cry.

“We’re almost to the Gates, Miss.”

Destiney didn’t respond to the driver. However she did look up an away towards the towering city in the near distance. The Holy See of Ishgard rose up in the air, looking as if it was trying to touch the clouds above. She had no idea how her parents had gotten her entrance into a city that had locked itself away from the rest of Eorzea. Or if even she would like the family she was to be staying with. Dekkarra had sworn he would stay in touch an maybe find a way to come see her. It was one small bright light in the darkness that was becoming her life.

Destiney gathered her belonging from the wagon upon arrival at the gates. Not even a thank you to the driver. She handed the folded an wax sealed letter to a guard at the gates.

“What do we have here?” He asked as he took a look at the wax seal before opening the letter. “Aurifore huh? Wait here.”

She watched in her silent scowling expression as the guard stepped inside the gate to check on whatever the letter had pertained. She had never heard of the Aurifore name before but then again she did not even know any of her relatives from her mother’s side of the family.

“You can enter. Do not let me catch you causing problems.” the guard warned as he came back an allowed Destiney to enter.

“Whatever.” Destiney grumbled as she picked her bag back up an walked through the gate with a guard following close behind her. The guard had left her once she had reached the city itself. The was light of day was fading fast an she had no clue where she was going. She could feel the stares some of the passerbys were giving her in her glade tunic an pants. She looked completely out of place among the people of Ishgard. She felt like they were probably considering her to be some foreign bastard who found a way to slip through the cracks.

“Destiney?” asked a gruff male voice.

“Who wants to know?” Destiney said with irritation as she looked an found an raven haired armored man, probably only a few years older then her father. The scowl on his face the his whole stance gave the impression of someone who had no tolerance for children. Let alone teenagers. He looked every inch like he did not want to be the one here to claim her.

“You will speak with more respect to your elders. Especially those who you will be staying with. Honestly. I have no idea why she agreed to take a half-breed bastard in anyways.” he said with disgust in his voice.

Destiney bristled at his calling her some half-breed bastard. She clenched her fists an glared at the man in his Ishgardian knight chainmail. It was so very hard to bite her tongue an not reach for the bow she had refused to leave behind at home. If only she could silence his biting tone.

“Nothing to say? Good. Keep up or stay in the Brume with the rest of the scum.” he said as he turned an began to walk without a care of whether she followed or not.

She followed him in tense silence, resisting the urge to put an arrow in his back. Being put in jail her first night here was probably the worst possible decision she could make. There was no way she could tell how the trials worked or even the justice system at all in Ishgard. For all she knew they could be entirely different then Gridania. Not that Gridania would take shooting someone with an arrow lightly when it was just in anger. Especially since it would be over an insult. Her father would have scolded her an told her to ignore such jabs. To be the bigger person an let the insults slide off like rain over metal.

The house they arrived at was not lush or ornate. It was a simple house but obviously cared for. The man watched her with wary eyes as he opened the door an stood there waiting for her to enter. Destiney just returned his glare for a few moments of silence.

“Lance is that you?” called a mellow woman’s voice from within.

“Yes. I brought the child you mentioned was arriving.” the man replied as he looked towards the inside of the house.

“Destiney? She made it finally?” the woman speaking appeared. She had the same orchard brown hair an hazel eyes her mother had. There was even a resemblance in her face to that of her mother. She rushed over an wrapped her arms around Destiney. “Oh my child. It is good to see you have arrived safely.” She removed her arms from a now tense Destiney. This woman was studying her face an the confusion in her gaze. “Well now… I don’t supposed that sister of mine has said much on me has she. No I doubt she has. Come inside.”

Destiney followed her aunt inside the house in silence. The interior was warm an inviting. A fire was burning merrily in the hearth. Beside it sat a pair of chairs and a small table meant to hold snacks for those sitting near the flames.

“I have to get back to work now, Kat. I will be home late tonight.”

“May Halone watch over you, love.” her aunt replied to the knight who had led her here, obvious to her by now he was her uncle by the exchange between the pair.

Destiney chose to sit down in one of the cushioned chairs by the fire, watching her aunt with wary eyes. Her aunt stepped out of the room for a moment with a brief mention of getting snacks. She returned shortly with a tray containing tea for two an some small sandwhichs. Destiney felt her stomach rumble as she had not eaten much on the long journey from Gridania to Ishgard.

“Please. Eat. I am your mother’s sister Katrienne. You are welcome to call me Aunt Katy.” Her aunt sits down in the chair opposite of her, watching her all the while with a warm smile on her face. “How I wish Halone would have blessed us with a child as beautiful as my sister’s. You look so much like your mother. But I can also see some of your father in you. Those blue eyes… Not an Aurifore trait for sure.”

“Aunt Katy…” Destiney tries the unfamiliar words over her tongue. “Who are the Aurifore?”

“Well now. That would be the name of the family your mother an I were born into. A name your mother gave up the day she departed from Ishgard. Father was none too pleased an he disowned her. I think they were both entirely too bull headed about the whole ordeal.” Aunt Katy says as she picks up one of the tea cups from the tray. “It is not a name of one of the four houses here in Ishgard but your grandfather an his father before him has made quite a name for the family.”

“I want to go home.”

“Home? I’m afraid that is not possible at this time, dear.” Aunt Katy replies with a frown. “Your mother asked me to care for you until it is safe enough to send you home once more. Until all this nasty business with the Garleans has been cleared up… I am afraid this is your home until then.”

The rest of the evening passed in silence. A few times her aunt tried to strike up conversation again with her. Only for silence to once more claim the air between them. Destiney stared at the dancing flames of the fireplace, only vaguely recalling eating an drinking what had been offered. Her mind was still on what she had left behind.

Why was she being carted away towards what her parents thought as safety while others were forced to endure. Why was she so special… If only she could have remained to fight. Or at least allowed to remain to search for her missing brother.

Her sleep was restless as she tossed an turned that first night in a strange place an a bed she did not know. So far away from everything she had ever known.

*~*

Destiney was going through the motions of living here in Ishgard. Her aunt had provided her with new clothes, ones more befitting a member of Ishgard society. Her aunt had even gone as far as to bring her books to read. There was however no where she could go to pratice with her bow. Her uncle had been less then pleased with the idea of her using a bow an waved her off as if she was nothing more then an insect. Still people gave her strange stares, heard the whispered rumors. Not like she wanted to make friends anyways. All she had to do was wait for her parents to send for her. She did not need these people or this life. Surely her parents would send for her soon.

Word did soon arrive. Along with the whispers of what happened at Cherteneau Flatts. The rage of an elder primal. The weather had been getting worse since the days of the battle, delaying the messages to Ishgard.

Destiney rushed home towards her aunt an uncle’s house. Surely there was now word that her parents wanted her home. She burst through the door an skidded to a halt. Her aunt was holding a letter in her hands, a sorrowful expression upon her face. Her uncle knelt beside where she sat in a chair, a comforting hand on his wife’s shoulder.

“What does the letter say?” Destiney asked, her voice so low, her heart clenching in fear. That expression on her aunt’s face twisted a dagger in her chest. Something was wrong. So very wrong.

“Destiney… Darling…” her aunt said softly as she got up from the chair to walk over an wrap her arms around her neice. “You father…”

Destiney broke away from her aunt’s arms. Her face was a mix of disbelief an horror. Her father? Curse the Twelve! If anything had happened to her family… She did not want to hear the next words her aunt spoke. Her knees gave out on her as she crashed to the floor. She felt like silence was swallowing her world. Eventually that silence gave birth to sound. It was the keening that broke the silence. Her world was breaking apart beneath her. She screamed an raged as her aunt tried to console her broke heart until both her voice an body could take no more. In silence she cried herself to sleep within her aunt’s embrace.

*~*

The days became a blur. Rarely did she even attempt to get out of bed. Her eyes merely gazed out the window at the snowflakes that had begun to fall upon Ishgard. Her father was gone from this world. An she was not even able to return home for the funeral. Still trapped in this miserable city, her world having come undone. She had no desire to climb out of bed. Only did her aunt or uncle make her get out of bed on occasion to at least bath an eat. Most times her aunt brought in a tray of food an asked quietly that she at least make an attempt to eat something.

However things changed. Slowly an painfully. But there was at least one light within the darkness that had become her heart.

Somehow her aunt or uncle had managed to pull some strings. Dekkarrra crouched beside her bed as she rolled over to look at who had come in this time. At first she thought he was a mere illusion conjured up by her hopeless heart to give her more reason to despair. But his hand was warm over her own. It felt so real but she was so afraid to move or say anything. Afraid it would all shatter away as if a dream. The smile on his face was gentle but his eyes were filled with sorrow. She probably looked horrible to him. Spending all her days in bed an barely eating.

“Destiney…” he said her name softly but full of love an concern.

“Dekkarra…” her voice cracked, so used to sitting in the silence with only her dark thoughts to keep her company.

“You’ve… Your aunt…” he sighed as he tried to find the words he was searching for as he held her hand within his. “She said you’ve been locking yourself away. She’s worried about you. I’m worried about you.”

“Why should I care? My life…” tears welled up in her eyes as she thought of how much upheaval she had suffered in such a short time.

“Your life is not over yet. What would your father think if he saw you like this?” he asked softly as one of his hands caressed her cheek. “You’re letting yourself become a ghost.”

His words stung her heart. She knew them to be true. If her father had seen her wasting away like this over sorrow… He would have punished her with extra training until her fingers bled from pulling the bowstring so much. But there was still so much despair in her heart an soul she could barely bring herself to move. Her fingers gripped the hand holding hers. How was she supposed to find her way back from the darkness?

“I…”

“The Destiney I know an love is stronger then this. I did not fall for a princess, I fell for someone with fire in her veins an a spirit full of life. Someone who is strong enough to overcome this an allow it to temper her into something stronger. We are not adults yet… But I know you are going to be something great when you manage to pull yourself back to your feet again. Because that is the girl I fell in love with. She is every inch a fighter like her parents.”

Tears trailed down her cheeks in silent paths. His hand gently wiped them away, his eyes steady an full of love. She would never understand what he saw in her. A girl who wanted to fight an protect at one time before her world had fallen apart. Yet… He was still like a missing piece of her soul. Just being near him again… It was a shard of light within the darkness. Something for her to grasp an hold onto with all her might.

“I can not stay for long. I begin my training to become a healer soon. But… I will write to you an return when I am able. Please, Destiney. Do not give up. Come back stronger from this. I need you.” he said softly as he leaned over her to kiss her forehead softly.

She could barely find the words to say as she watched him turn to leave. She wanted to reach out for him. To beg him to stay. Somewhere deep inside though the embers of herself were kindled by his presence. By his unwavering love for her.

*~*

Destiney slowly began to make her way back into life. So long spent abed had left her weak. Her father would have endlessly lectured her about letting herself go so badly. Overtime she found a quiet place down around the Brume to build her strength back to where it once was. In silence with nothing but her thoughts. The look upon her face was enough to deter most into leaving her along. That an possibly ending up with an arrow to the gut. When she wasn’t pulling the strings of her bow, she was running. Feeling the sting in both her lungs an her skin from the cold.

Her thoughts turned to the Garleans. Everything was their fault. Her father… Her happy life… She would find that lost fire an blaze it bright. She would get her revenge on the people who had murdered her father. Those that had snuffed out a bright star in her life. They would pay.

Her books an such that her aunt continued to provide were a distraction. One that was welcome after a day outside strengthening her body again in the now frigid air. She found she loved some of the stories. They were an escape from the world. At least when they were novels. She found she preferred the stories containing heroes or romance.

This was how her days in Ishgard would be spent. At least until the day she would depart once more for the world outside those sealed gates.