Journal Entry 7 - Destiney

I’m not sure how to feel right now. I know it has only been days since the last time I wrote in here. An I was not feeling particularly… Light-hearted after the end of my last entry. But last night… Was much needed in helping me lift my spirits.

Though before I get to that part of the day. I did finally set up a room at the Order’s house. I figured it was a good idea. In case I have any more nights where I end up drinking an am not sure if it is wise to walk home. As well as it gives me a place to keep clothes an books as needed. Not that walking back an forth between the Order house an my own home is that bad. Just saves time. Chee aided me in getting the room setup. We even added an extra bed in case Chee needed a place to crash while visiting. I finished not long before the gathering. So I went almost as soon as I was done.

I joined the others at Bronze Lake last night for our weekly gathering. When I got there is was just members of the Order. I took a seat in the waters near Dusk and Kagato. Lady had insisted on tagging along. She has been rather… Insistent since the other night. Kagato was just beginning to tell a story of why he is not comfortable in Gridania.

I however was very much distracted. An reminded once more of the other evening. Frost showed up an I noticed Aimee dragging him over to a nearby part of the waters. Of course I could not help but notice his bandages once he removed his shirt. I… very much wanted to go over an see about his well being. But… He had Aimee there. He was in good hands. She would understand more then I would anyways for those involved in the experiments.

Needless to say I felt… Inadequate. For all my experience as an adventurer… I was still so inexperienced as well. As well as Lady was being so overly pestering. I think she knew I was feeling a bit down. So as the waters cleared of a few people I went over to sit near Kagato an join him for a drink. He seemed quiet an distracted as much as myself. We got to speaking an mention might have been made of things that happened the week before at Forgotten Springs. An Oni might have heard us. I swear Oni an Raiden have superior hearing…

Oni eventually, though tired, made his way over to us. I was pretty much trapped with my back to a wall. Well more like a railing an plants. But still very much the same, trapped. I could not even maneuver past him to escape away in the water where he might not follow. Just when I thought I was doomed to the same fate as Felix… Aimee did something to stun Oni for a few moments. So I took my chance to slip past him towards the waters where Aimee and Frost were.

An slipped… On water… My footing was already not as steady an sure since I had had a glass of wine. So I found myself on my butt rather ungracefully, still a good distance from safety. I thought for sure I was doomed to be licked by Oni as I sat there.

The next thing I knew… There was a hand reaching out to me. For a moment I could not breath as I looked up to see Frost looking down at me. I thought my heart might stop in my surprise. I took his hand an allowed him to help me to stand. Though the moment was so very brief… I couldn’t help but desire more. Argh! Why must I have such a weakness for men like Raiden and Frost… Of course all I could think of was to thank him for his aid. Well… At least I did thank him though I wish I could have managed more then just that. As cold an anti-social as he can be… I still want to try. I still want to attempt a friendship with him. As I’ve heard it said before, still waters run deep.

I think… I felt much better after the night ended. Much better then I had when the night began at the very least.